It seems that the only way to have what I want is to wait until there will be a way to implement all I want.
So I leave this place for now and want to give some "farewell (for now)" presents:
I made some enhancements to 4 mods and want to share them.
First one is tnt mod: I combined the default one and one from experimental:
Tnt flashes, have smoke and explosion particles and also igniter smoke particles. It also compatible with shared_autoban mod (but do not require it) and do not ignite or destroy other player's blocks (including tnt).
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/39772195/mt%20screens/tnt.zip





The next one is butter mod. It now have the same explosion effects as tnt, but butter creeper does not give a damn about anyone's property. Compatible (but do not require) with shared_autoban mod.
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/39772195/mt%20screens/butter.zip
Fire just got better.
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/39772195/mt%20screens/fire.zip

And the last one is shared_autoban mod.
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/39772195/mt%20screens/shared_autoban.zip
Updated to be compatible with tnt and butter. Some small fixes added. Anyway, this mod isn't used by anyone, so I'll just make anyone know I updated this.
Licenses: original one or (only if there wasn't any) WTFPL
PS: To all modders (those who make mods): please, check for metadata saved in blocks you're toying with beforehand!
