Too many spam topics

[SegFault22]

I have compiled a thought that most of us have realized that the General Discussion section and the Bugs and Problems sections are made up of more spam topics than any other topics. What I mean by spam is, topics with titles like ''Halp me PLSSSSS!!! :(((((('' or ''SOMEBODY HELP PLS >:C''. These topics are completely useless, as the same problem(s) are being solved over and over and over again, due to these topics.
I have narrowed the ''reasons'' of the spam topics to 3 most popular reasons:
-No sound
-No jungle biomes
and, last but not least,
-Can't craft stuff
We have been solving the same problems over and over and over again, so we need a way to ''filter'' the topics that are posted, so that only sensible topics are kept in the forum. I have some ''options'' here that describe steps that can be taken to fix this issue:
-Option 1-
''sticky,closed'' topics at the top of both the General discussion board and the Bugs & Problems board.
On the general board, there's a topic at the top of the page, in all-caps, with a title of ''READ THIS before posting here!'' and in the post, it tells ''if there's something wrong, or something is not working properly, please do NOT post here, move to the Bugs & Problems board. Also, read some posts there before posting, your problem may have already been solved in the past'' (and yes, the ''bugs & problems'' text should be bold, underlined, and italics, and a link to the bugs & problems board)
On the Bugs & Problems board, there should be a topic labeled like the other one in the general discussion board, but it tells ''There are some bugs and problems that have already been solved. Here are the ''popular'' bugs:'' and then it goes on to describe the few ''popular'' bugs that are usually spammed on the forum, and the best solutions.

-Option 2-
In the forum rules, there should be a clearly visible, clearly readable section telling that topics must give a suggestion as to what is in the topic, and topics like ''help me'' or ''someone fix this'' or other topics with generic titles are not allowed.

-Option 3-
All topics with non-informitive titles like ''help me pls'' or ''someone fix this'' should be deleted, and result in a 1-day ban after 3 of these topics are made by one person, 2-days for 4, and an undefined time for 5. Also, some anti-spam plugins should be added to not allow topics with 3 all-caps letters in a row, or just something that prevents topics heavily soiled with caps from being posted.

These actions have the potential to keep the forums clean from most of the useless topics, and Stop the Spam.
Thank you for reading.
~~SegFault22

[Calinou]

In the forum rules, there should be a clearly visible, clearly readable section telling that topics must give a suggestion as to what is in the topic, and topics like ''help me'' or ''someone fix this'' or other topics with generic titles are not allowed.

That's common sense. Unfortunately, most people forget about it. ;)

All topics with non-informitive titles like ''help me pls'' or ''someone fix this'' should be deleted, and result in a 1-day ban after 3 of these topics are made by one person, 2-days for 4, and an undefined time for 5.

That's not how you stop such behavior. Topics should never be deleted unless they are blatant nonsense. If a question was already answered, the topic will be locked, with a link to a solution.

[sdzen]

why don't we auto redirect them to the wiki which will answer 80% of stupid questions

[mauvebic]

As time passes, a boy inevitably becomes a man. But what is not inevitable is that a man becomes a sword.

[Josh]

Are spambots people or machines?

[PilzAdam]

Are spambots people or machines?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_bot

[Josh]

Oh so spambots are machines. Thanks PilzAdam